“God, it's me, Barney. What up? I know we don't talk much, but I know a lot of girls call out your name because of me.”
“In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland. True story.”
“Here's the mini-cherry on top of the regular cherry on top of the sundae of awesomeness that is my life.”
“It's gonna be legend-... wait for it... and I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the second half of that word is DAIRY!”
"I want American Scotch from Scotland!"
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